And there I was. In my secret agent life. With rippling muscles, and long shiny hair that was full of volume. And the evil mastermind wanted me to tell the secret. “You have 30 seconds to comply.” And I knew if I didn’t tell him, I’d be dropped into a tank of alligators or shocked by the electro-ray-gun…. but I was a secret agent damnit, and I was keeping my secret. I watched as the seconds ticked by, my perfectly lined and glossed lips sealed. And then the timer went off. The timer of doom. What horrid fate awaited me?
Much worse than alligators or electro-ray-guns… it was the 6am alarm. That carried with it all the promises I’d made to myself about exercising and eating healthy and dusting ceiling fans and oh for the love of pete where the hell is the snooze button?
But I got up. And put on my exercise clothes. And my new balance runners that I’ve only run in during the pouring rain. These are the things I experienced on my 25 minute walk.
1. Even if you’re fat, if you put the girls in a tight workout top, ugly construction men will leer at you.
2. There are too many lizards in Florida.
3. The outside of my apartment grounds smells like polecat.
4. Four dogs taking their morning dump.
5. Did I mention about the lizards? Holy cow.
6. Even at 6:16 A.M. the humidity is like a heavy blanket that doesn’t really like it when you try to move. Or breathe.
But I did something. And now the order of the day is to do some kind of housework and only eat my points. Luckily a knitting friend is coming over and that kind of forces me to straighten up.
Oh yes, and I have knitting content! I finally figured out what to do with my vanilla cotton-ease. I made a real honest to goodness gauge swatch (actually two of them on different needles even) and figured out some math. I’m gonna make a Florida friendly twinset. Nothing heavy or too much. Just a shapely tank with a boobholder to go over it. I’m modifying the boobholder pattern to match the shapely tank more and I’m working it all on the same needles so it looks like it goes together. Wish me luck!