Did you know I’m going to school to be a high school math teacher? Yes, I really am. Although some days I’m not sure why. Our experiences here in the public schools have been less than stellar, and my boys now attend parochial school. And at least once a week I entertain the idea of homeschooling them. Honestly.
I’ve always been flighty. My mind runs at a million miles an hour, and I find it very hard to focus sometimes. And then when I do focus (like reading all four Twilight books in four days) I end up with a headache, a messy house, and what can only be described as a focus hangover.

So I’m trying to focus. The semester is nearly over, but next semester is gonna be tough. I have to suck it up and finally take Calc III. Which isn’t really that hard, except for I’m out of practice in the higher maths. I’m tired of school.

I also need to focus on my fiber arts. I want to design, dye, and make project bags. And I’m not sure I can do all three at the same time with any level of success. Bags seems more straightforward money-wise, but it’s also the most automated, and therefore has the potential to be the most soul numbing. Dyeing is really fun and good for my artsy side, but it’s a market that is filled with stars who are better with color and more creative with naming and the like. Tough.

I think I could be very good at the designing. I’m proud of everything I put out so far. But it’s very competitive and very hard to make money. Also the time and materials investment is kind of steep. Cherry Tree Hill is having a design contest. But to enter I have to buy a certain yarn (which will run close to $30 with shipping) and then design and submit the objects. I have to actually mail in the objects. It doesn’t say, but I assume I will get the objects back if I don’t win. If I do win, I could earn $150-$200 for the design, plus be reimbursed for the yarn. But the rights go to them. If I don’t win, I could self-publish the design, but it won’t be suitable for submission anywhere else because it will have been seen online. Conundrum, I’m telling you. And don’t even get me started on the crazy nonsense that it is to submit to a magazine. It doesn’t come out for like a year or two, and you have to wait forever to find out if you’ve been accepted, and in the meantime you have all the hard work that goes into a design just hanging in limbo and you’re not getting compensated. And won’t be compensated, unless it is accepted, or you self-publish it. Either way, you’re working for the 2010 paycheck.

I’m sorry. I was ranting there. But I’m confused. And there is so much to think about. And dagnabbit I am tired of thinking. Freaking exhausted even.

What kind of job can I get that I don’t have to think? At all. Ever.

Hey, you wanna see a little something I’m designing? That’s right. Skip to the cute picture. The official picnicknits washcloth pattern. I’m gonna edge it with some white lace – possibly crocheted. If you wanna knit yourself a nifty gingham washcloth, the free pattern for this puppy is coming soon to a blog near you. (Yes, this blog!)