Monday is a significant date. It’s the 2 year anniversary of meeting the man. Since I met the man, I have gained, you guessed it, a significant amount of weight. Fifty pounds of significance. I’ve been trying to be all healthy and count my points and all that, and I’ve actually lost twenty pounds, but I fell off the wagon. And um yeah, I needed to lose some before I met the man.
But folks the fat wagon is coming on Monday. Because well, it’s a date with significance. And for the love of pete, it’s a Monday! Diets are statistically proven to go better if you start them on a Monday. Or maybe that was the day you had the highest risk of being hit by a bus in your own front yard. But I digress…
So starting on Monday there will be little blurbs about my eating, and my exercising, and maybe some sort of really cheesy thermometer graphic with the pounds lost all lit up in red!!!! Ok, maybe a big no on the graphic. But healthiness and weight loss will abound!
I’m still working on the snood. It’s much bigger. And it’s very red and very beaded and very gorgeous. But by my excellent math calculations I have nine more hours of work to do. I probably should do less calculating and more snooding. Because my friend needs it in her hot little hands on Saturday. And um, I’m in sunny F-L-A and she’s in well, I guess it’s sunny in NY too. The pressure of a deadline.
After I get skinny, I plan to write a book on the knitting diet. How if you spend too much money on fancy fibers you will A. not have enough money for food and B. be deathly afraid to eat for fear some of those ramen noodles will get tangled up in your perfect ball of overpriced silk. It’ll be a bestseller. I’ll include lots of wrap patterns that will be adjustable as you get all svelte-like. It could happen.