I’ve had 35 years of holding grudges. No, seriously. I am the queen of grudge-holders and bridge-burners. There are always flames leaping behind me because I never stop burning bridges. Never.
Sometimes I give people too many chances, sometimes too few. Many times I wonder what the hell is wrong with people who seem to be gluttons for punishment. You know, those people that keep going back and back to allow the same person to hurt them over and over again. I did that once. Well I mean I did that with one person. I guess it was due to the fact that once I had kids I felt like I should do anything to preserve my family. It didn’t work of course. He was never my family.
Sometimes I wonder why I am so quick to cut people off. Is it because of the butthead? Not sure. Very few of the people I’ve cut loose could ever have that much of an impact on my life. Mostly it’s just the random, I don’t need this crap kind of cut-offs. But I’m damned good at it.
Ah, introspection. A Saturday afternoon nap will do that to you. You’ll have odd dreams and heavy thoughts will hang in your head as you search for a strong enough source of caffeine to clear out all the cobwebs. Mostly my head is filled with one thought. If I sucked it up and invited my sister (and my beloved nephew) to our Halloween party would she suck it up enough to come? I mean I’m still incredibly angry at her and I miss him the most, but still.
I think it’s time for a Starbucks run.